‘All-Knowing Swami’ Predicts Outcomes Of Friday Football
By Space Coast Daily // August 31, 2012
Test Your Skills Against The Best
Editor’s note: The All-Knowing Swami was born into a vagabond family of gypsy fortune-tellers and his first job was passing out towels at practices for the Memphis Showboats of the USFL. Marveling at his psychic talent, he was frequently asked by players to predict the outcome of everything from Pop Warner Pee Wees matchups to the total number of times that Bret Favre would unretire. The All-Knowing Swami has correctly identified the last 29 Super Bowl champions in advance and has been hailed as a master prognosticator by everyone from Jimmy the Greek to Pete Rose. Relocating to Florida in 1987, the Swami practiced the psychic arts in Cassadaga before arriving in Brevard in 1990. He has been following high school football here ever since and will take on all challengers as the undisputed king of making prep predictions.
BREVARD COUNTY, FLORIDA – Yes, it’s that time of year again — you know –the season and time when the All-Knowing Swami truly dazzles the imagination.
As we head into the first weekend of the regular season for prep football in Brevard County, his crystal ball has been working overtime since last week’s Kickoff Classic games to come to definitive declarations about which teams will win this weekend’s season openers on the local gridiron.
Of course, this is done all in fun and hopefully you will not feel any shame or dejection as the All-Knowing Swami’s greatly enhanced mental powers and gifted psychic abilities may leave one shaking their head in disbelief and asking how he does it in making such accurate and reliable predictions.
The answer to the Swami’s skill is deep-rooted in mysticism and his incredible gypsy prognosticating genes passed down from generation to generation from the heyday of Jim Thorpe and Red Grange.
Feel free to test your miniscule mortal foresight against that of the All-Knowing Swami for the schedule of Week 1 games.
Without further ado, let’s get right to it….
** PINE RIDGE AT TITUSVILLE — Hmmm, interesting matchup, might be a low-scoring affair. I like the aerial combination of Terriers’ quarterback Josh Wayner to receiver Alec Joyner to find paydirt several times.
SWAMI SEZ Titusville by 9
** NEW SMRYNA BEACH AT ASTRONAUT – The War Eagles are loaded with weapons like defensive end J.T. Hassell and wide receiver Steven Williams and have a top-flight and experienced coach in Randy Hallock. He will surely have the team prepared for this one before the home fans.
SWAMI SEZ Astronaut by 13
** CENTENNIAL AT MERRITT ISLAND – It’s a rebuilding year for the Mustangs but never count Merritt Island out at home. As long as “The Horse” is played by the Mustangs marching band, Coach Jeff McLean will have a chance to pull out another win. Centennial is mighty, but the Mustangs have tradition on their side.
SWAMI SEZ Merritt Island by 2
** HERITAGE AT SPACE COAST – Both squads looked impressive last Friday. The Vipers have solid quarterbacking in Nick Rittenhouse. The Panthers have been quietly amassing a stellar defense under Coach Ajay Ulmer and have plenty of moxie.
SWAMI SEZ Heritage by 12
** MCC AT COCOA BEACH – The Hustlers are very young, but capable of sustaining long drives. The Erdman brothers (Max and Will) are threats to score at any time for MCC. Minutemen are solid and may have the best QB in the county in David Dessent and a top-notch receiver in Boone Lewis.
SWAMI SEZ Cocoa Beach by 17
** FATHER LOPEZ AT HOLY TRINITY – Game shifted south from Daytona to the friendlier confines of the Holy Trinity “Jungle.” Tigers are eager to shine for Coach Mark Ainsley. Expect big things from QB Daniel Welch and all-around playmaker Johnny Gomez.
SWAMI SEZ Holy Trinity by 1
** VIERA AT EAU GALLIE – Two young teams ready to leave it all on the line to pull out a “W.” Turnovers may be a problem however for both teams. A long hard gaze into the old reliable crystal ball revealed little, but a coin flip favored the Hawks. QB Daniel Kroupa of the Commodores may say differently.
SWAMI SEZ Viera by 6.
** PALM BAY AT ROCKLEDGE – Here’s a clash reminiscent of the early 2000s when both squads won multiple state titles. Raiders coach Larry Laskowski is pointing “The Rock” in the direction of a district championship this season and has talented QB Alex Adler. Palm Bay is loaded with talent, including a bevy of speedy backs like Leroy Berry, Derylton Hill, Brandon Moon and Sekai Lindsey and a parade of battle-tested performers on defense headlined by B.J. Ross and Caleb Alves.
SWAMI SEZ Palm Bay by 14
** BOLLES AT BAYSIDE – The winning tradition at Bolles and their defensive prowess speaks volumes, while the Bayside Bears haven’t been very shabby themselves in the last four years under Coach Derek Smith. The Bears feature three prime-time stars and possible future college players in QB Lucious McKay, receiver Kory Schick and running back Roger Bush.
SWAMI SEZ Bolles by 4
** SATELLITE AT MELBOURNE — Regardless what happens, this game will be decided by defense. Both teams take pride in stopping the opposition and believe their power flows from stingy play. Scorps signal caller Cole Schnell is a gamer, just like his Bulldogs counterpart in Sterling Munich. This one will keep fans riveted on the edge of their seats all night long as points will be hard to come by.
SWAMI SEZ Melbourne by 3
** COCOA VS ST. JOSEPH’S PREP OF PHILADELPHIA (at ESPN’s Wide World of Sports) – The high-flying Tigers face a bonafide challenge from the Crimson and Gray of the always tough Philadelphia Catholic League. Fortunately for Cocoa Coach John Wilkinson he can call upon All-World playmaker Tarean Folston to ignite the Tigers from any point on the field and at any time.
SWAMI SEZ Cocoa by 20