WILL ROGERS: Never Squat With Your Spurs On
By SpaceCoastDaily // February 9, 2013
CULTURE & HISTORY
William Penn Adair “Will” Rogers (1879 – 1935) was an American cowboy, comedian, humorist, social commentator, vaudeville performer and actor and one of the best-known celebrities in the 1920s and 1930s. Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known.
SOME OF HIS SAYINGS
• Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
• Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
• There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
• There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
• Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
• After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER…
First – Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second – The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third – Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.
I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.
Fourth – When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth – You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth – I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh – One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.
Eighth – One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth – Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth – Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.
And, finally – If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.