THE CONTINUING CHRONICLES OF K-9 LARS: Brevard County Sheriff’s Superhero Dog Saves the Day – Again

K9 LARS: 'you guys ain’t Jack Squat without me'

THE CONTINUING CHRONICLES OF BCSO K-9 “LARS…Well, here we are again, with me sitting in the back of the patrol unit this past Sunday minding my own business while my partner Deputy John Hubinger drives around Brevard County singing “here I come to save the day!”

The reality is that he is the Uber Driver for the real superhero who for whatever reason is not allowed to drive the car, talk on the radio or carry a gun but does all of the actual police work.

Well, either way, John hears on the radio that one of our Lieutenants, Steve Fernez, is requesting a K-9 after somehow having climbed out from behind his desk and stopped a car on the streets of Brevard County.

John looks in the rearview mirror and asks me if I want to go over there to give him a hand.

Of course, I respond with “look pal I don’t have a say in where we go, so why even ask and besides this one could actually be pretty interesting cause you and I both know that Fernez hasn’t made an arrest since the French and Indian War!!”

So John drives us over there and subsequently finds out that Lt. Fernez stopped a rental car that was being driven down the road with no lights on.

According to John, Lt. Fernez approached the vehicle, recognized that there was possibly more to the story than just no lights, and then made a command decision to bring in K-9 Lars so there would be a real Law Enforcement Officer on the scene in case actual police work needed to be done.

Well, as is always the case, after John gets briefed he opens the back door of the patrol unit and says, “Ok boy let’s go find it,” in a really high pitched voice that I guess is supposed to motivate me or something.

Truth be told every time he does it I think I’m riding with his sister but I just play along like a good boy so I can get out of the truck and use the bathroom.

Now once I climb out the back and take care of my business I look at John and I think “seriously John…you need me to go over and sniff search that car?

John, I can smell it from here as it smells like a pharmacy just blew up in that car!”

Even with that, John insists that I go over and smell all the way around the car like we trained to do and also so it can look like he is actually involved in the investigation in some capacity other than being my personal chauffeur.

After a quick sniff search around the car I give John the special sign we set up, you know a little wink and a nod and bam…he tosses me my reward, a piece of fire hose to chew on!

Really John, that’s it? I mean come on dude I just find you the mother lode and all I get is a ratty piece of fire hose that you probably swiped off a fire truck a few days ago with your pocket knife.

How about you carry your little cheapskate self down to the pet store and buy me a nice “genuine” dog toy, you know like a nice tug or something that holds peanut butter.”

Well, apparently that kind of attitude didn’t sit so well with ole Johnny Boy, cause he made me go get back in the truck and shut the door in my face while he and Fernez pulled all the dope out of the car like they were the Deputies of the Year or something.

Trust me fellows, you guys ain’t Jack Squat without me but this is exactly how you get treated when you don’t have a contract and simply agree to work for food and a piece of fire hose.

It’s my own fault though cause I should have got an attorney to read the fine print when I first accepted the position.

Oh well, I guess that’s why they call it “getting dogged,” but on a positive note by working together we did get a whole lot of drugs off our streets and put a bad person behind bars!

As you can tell from the photos we got a significant amount of Meth, Heroin, Tar Heroin, Molly, Suboxone, Alprazolom, Oxycodone, $1,000 in currency and a bunch of drug paraphernalia such as a safe, baggies, scales and syringes.

I suppose the headline about this story will read, “Deputy Hubinger and Lt. Steve Fernez Make Large Drug Bust” but you and I both know what really happened don’t we?

– BCSO K-9 Lars, via the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office

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