THE CONTINUING CHRONICLES OF K-9 LARS: Brevard County Sheriff’s Superhero Dog Saves the Day – Again
By BCSO K-9 Lars, via the Brevard County Sheriff's Office // November 24, 2019
K-9 LARS SNIFFS OUT concealed firearm, ecstasy, cocaine, meth, marijuana and drug paraphernalia
THE CONTINUING CHRONICLES OF BCSO K-9 “LARS…So if you remember the last time we chatted I had just led my Chauffeur, Deputy John Hubinger on an arrest that involved me showing him and Lt. “Donothing” (also known as Lt. Steve Fernez) where a cache of drugs was hidden.
Well, this past Saturday night was no different as I had to once again show Junior Deputy “John” and his pal Deputy Joesph Spinelli how to make a felony case on, guess what…a felon.
I guess this place expects me to train all their Deputies on what the heck to do, as sometimes I feel like I am the only one in this group that can sniff out trouble.
I swear, I’m out here busting my backside putting bad people in jail and that big fat bloodhound “Junny” is being named “Humanitarian of the Year” by Space Coast Daily.
For what, I mean really when is the last time he bit a bad guy, scented on some dope in a car, or even searched a building? Never, not once!
If you want him to search a building you better hide some brisket in there or a sausage biscuit from McDonald’s!
Oh well, I digress, so anyway John and I are riding around the streets of Brevard County when Deputy Spinelli requests the assistance of a K-9 Team which is apparently a code word for, “hey John bring your dog over here so he can make this case for me!”
As usual, John drives over to the area of the traffic stop in Port St. John and gets out of the truck acting all official and stuff. You should see him, gets out, adjusts his vest, checks his hair and then…BAM!…there he is ready to save the day.
I’m like, look dude, why are you even going up there as you couldn’t find a booger under a third graders desk? As is always the case, “Mr. Super Cop” couldn’t smell anything coming out of the car, so he decides to bring the real cop out to do the work.
From the time I got out of the back of the car, (excluding the time it took me to water a nearby plant) a grand total of three minutes expired before I could smell the odor of a felony in progress.
Geez John, I’m not sure why you even have a nose unless it’s just to help hold up those really cool sunglasses you wear so you can look like “Goose” from the original Top Gun movie!
Well anyway, what do you know, after I give them PC to search the dude’s ride, they find a concealed firearm, ecstasy, cocaine, meth, marijuana and even some drug paraphernalia.
As a result, another bad guy, Charles Robert Vandyke, goes to jail and more drugs are off our streets.
And what do I get as a reward for actually being the only real cop on the scene? Another nasty piece of fire hose, I get shoved back in the kennel and I get to hear John say in his sister’s voice “Good Boy!”
And then, of course, tomorrow’s headlines will read: Deputy John Hubinger takes another criminal off our streets! What a crock. Even the cows at Chic-fil-A get treated better than I do!
Who knows maybe next year John can get a “Humanitarian of the Year” Award like that miserable, stinky, big floppy-eared, do nothing “Junny” who everybody loves except me!
– BCSO K-9 Lars, via the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office
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