How to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom

By  //  May 24, 2022

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How to spice things up in the bedroom is one of the questions that individuals and couples have been asking themselves, and each other, for decades and decades. While some people have already found and dove into the world of kink and fantasy, there are many who still have a lot to learn.

Now is probably a good time to mention that learning is absolutely the most important part of any kink exploration. Learning about your partner, learning about the specifics and techniques of any kink you’re going to explore, learning about yourself, and learning about what all is out there to explore. Learning will be key to this journey.

That being said, there are some sure-fire ways to throw some spice and sizzle into the bedroom and onto the mattress. Finding the right way to heat up the passion for you and your partner, specifically, should be a fun, exciting, and non-judgemental experience. Keep this in mind as you work together to discover your ideal sex life with one another.

Sex is a beautiful thing, whether it’s between a person and themselves, a couple, a group of people, or a pair of acquaintances, it is a beautiful and powerful exchange of energy. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a more vanilla style, there’s also nothing wrong with exploring new ways of conducting this energy exchange. 

Communication and Conversation

At the root of everything is communication. Quite literally, even trees and plants communicate with one another (mind blowing I know). But getting back to sex, communication is the number one most important aspect in creating a healthy and mutually satisfying sex life that is fulfills everyone involved.

Without open and honest communication, it is incredibly difficult to establish trust or to learn about someone’s specific individual preferences. Open lines of communication between partners also help establish boundaries going into situations which, in turn, helps ensure that everyone feels comfortable throughout the duration of the session. 

Communication isn’t only important before and after, though. Communication during the act itself is also incredibly vital. As anyone in the room should feel able to stop everything all at once if they feel uncomfortable for any reason whatsoever.

On the flip side, it can be incredibly fulfilling and rewarding to hear pleasure being verbalized, or to get direct instructions on how to do something so it feels better for that person. Being able to communicate these different details about the experience in the heat of the moment can take some practicing and getting used to, but can lead to incredible sessions together down the line, especially with consistency. As the trust builds between partners, oftentimes boundaries begin to expand, but keeping the conversation active and on-going ensures that everyone knows where comfort levels currently rest.

Start Slow and Steady

When it comes to sexual exploration and trying to add some spice to your sex life, it can be easy to bite off more than you can chew. Between the excitement and the adrenaline and the curiosity all blending together, people have a tendency to really hit the gas, so to speak. However, this isn’t always advisable. Rather, it can be beneficial to take things slow and steady when it comes to sexual exploration and trying new things.

Whether it’s BDSM, cosplay, roleplay, using a prostate massager or prostate massage in general, slow and steady typically wins the race. Especially in the context of a relationship, taking things one step at a time is a good way to give both partners a chance to process and reflect so there are no uncomfortable situations accidentally created. 

Being Open Minded and Willing

Being open minded is another part of this equation though. If one person is communicating their desires or fantasies but their partner simply won’t try anything new, then that is just as ineffective as not having the conversation at all. Of course, no one should be forced to try anything they’re uncomfortable with, or be in any situations without giving consent, however – being open to your partners wants and needs is a big part of physical and sexual compatability. 

The lesson here being that any conversation surrounding the bedroom and exploring in the bedroom should be treated with respect, care, and an open ear. 

Giving All of Yourself

There are a lot of ways to heat things up in the bedroom and to add some flavor and spice to one’s sex-life. Finding the right avenue, though, can be a little tricky. One option to consider for the open minded couple is prostate massage and prostate play. There is a growing population of straight men who enjoy and at times prefer prostate play over other types of intercourse. There are a variety of ways to do this, and can be very fun for the partner on the other side of the prostate massage as well. 

Besides the pure pleasure aspects, prostate massage and prostate play is a way for men to give all of themselves to their partner to further cement their bond, trust, and love, while still experiencing intense waves of pleasure.

All-in-all, exploring sexuality in the context of a relationship should be fun, exciting, consensual, safe, open, and communicative. Enjoy your exploration!