How to Co Parent after Divorce Effectively
By Space Coast Daily // October 26, 2020
The relationship between parents has a lot of influence on the children’s emotional and mental well-being. Co-parenting is very important to the children because they need to feel both parents are actively participating in their lives.
According to Sheryl Ellsworth, a co-founder of a co-parenting app called co-parenter, divorced couples need to get over their disagreements and become a collaborative team for the children’s sake.
In co-parenting, all the decisions made are centered on the child’s welfare. Here are five tips that parents can use for co-parenting effectively.
Heal from the divorce and set the anger aside.
The primary step of successful co-parenting is first putting all the anger and resentment aside for the children’s sake. This is the biggest challenge, but once covered, it makes everything else flow.
To get the emotions away from the whole process, you can seek an outlet, for example, a friend or a therapist, where you can express your feelings instead of expressing them to the children.
According to Juliana Morris, a marriage and family therapist, if one partner has not moved on from the past, all the feelings of betrayal and hurt will be reflected in the co-parenting relationship; therefore, it is vital to close that chapter.
Part of healing also involves making time for yourself and re-developing your self-esteem and confidence. Dedicate time to your mental and physical health and avoid the feelings of blaming the other person.
You should overcome your depression as fast as possible by going outside, making new friends or even just by adding some destressing natural kratom powder to your food or tea. You can never pour from an empty cup, so before starting the co-parenting journey, work on yourself.
Improve communication amongst the two of you
Communication between exes is tough to ask of them, but it is close to mandatory when there’s a child involved. Communicate even if it is not in person; you can always text, emails or speak on the phone. It is also essential to keep the conversation focused on the kid and commit to the meeting arrangements.
Seek Legal advice on Co-parenting arrangements
Even in a peaceful Co-parenting situation, legal advice is essential to arrange who gains full-time custody and who picks the children on a part-time basis. This can be easier if the two parents create a parenting plan under the guidance of family lawyers.
What is a parenting plan?
If you are wondering what is a parenting plan, it is a written legal plan covering the practical issues of parenting after a couple separates. It’s a sort of co-parenting guide indicating each parent’s responsibility.
A parenting plan must include the child access arrangement between the two parents, Costs of child care and how you will communicate with your ex-spouse. It must be signed under the witnessing of family lawyers to ensure commitment to the agreement’s terms. A good plan should include;
• The legal and physical custodian
• A routine of the parenting time
• Vacation parenting time
• Holiday arrangements
• Attendance of school events
• The daily basic decisions
• The school and medical records
Brief your children and make them feel secure after the divorce
Reassure the children that the divorce does not mean anything will change in their lives. Try and bring them into the changes with as much normalcy as you can.
Please give them a sense of security without allowing them to get involved in your adult problems. The divorce has already altered the family structure. That is enough mental confusion; what they need at this point is security by maintaining the schedule before the divorce and offering them the same amount of love and affection.