10 Red Flags You Might Be Ignoring In Your Relationship

By  //  December 27, 2021

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When we start a new relationship, it’s natural to have rose-colored glasses and ignore the faults of another person. After all, no one is perfect. However, how do you know if your partner is displaying red flags? Is he committed to you and only you? The red flags you might be missing can tell you a lot about a person’s personality and how they handle relationships. What should you look out for?

Relationship Red Flags

1. Every Ex Was Crazy

It’s possible your partner was horrible at picking significant others. They may have a history of poor choices or abusive relationships a few times. However, not every ex they have holds all the fault. When your partner discusses past relationships, pay close attention to the words they use to describe them.

It could alert you to why the relationship ended in the first place if they take no accountability or responsibility for any failures throughout it. It also indicates a lack of respect for past relationships. 

2. You’re Your Partner’s Only Friend

It’s unhealthy for you to be your partner’s only friend. Sure, you may be their best friend, but you shouldn’t be the only person in their life. It causes concerns because it indicates they have issues with connecting with others and maintaining relationships.

It could spell out potential problems you will have with them. It’s likely they will become jealous or upset when you want to hang out with others since they don’t have anyone else to spend time with. 

3. They Rush the Relationship

New relationships will have that excitement at first. Your partner may want to spend as much time as they can with you, talk to you frequently, and may make plans for the future.

However, there’s a right way and wrong way to do this. A red flag raises when your partner pressures you for a serious commitment like marriage, living together, or children before you’re ready or new to the relationship. You want to take your time in any relationship before you move to serious life-changing events. Eagerness to jump into serious matters could spell mental troubles or abusive behaviors. 

4. They Roll Their Eyes at You

Studies were done on married couples and divorces. They found that spouses who rolled their eyes at one another divorced more often than couples who didn’t.

Respect among couples is a major foundation to a healthy relationship. We all know that’s a major sign that they don’t care about your ideas, thoughts, or opinions. Your partner can disagree with you without being disrespectful. 

5. They Call You Names in Arguments

Name-calling is emotional and verbal abuse. Partners should be able to argue or discuss matters in a healthy manner. Your partner should never disrespect you by name calling you, belittling you, or putting your and your accomplishments down.

Arguments happen but you should be able to settle them by talking through them without insults. One step to having a healthy argument or discussion is how to bring up the issue. Always use “I feel” statements such as “I feel hurt when we argue, and you call me names”. Avoid strong language like “never” and “always” such as “You never listen to me!” or “You always do this”. 

6. They’re Secretive About Small Stuff

Secrets are okay to have but when everything is a secret including the small stuff, it raises red flags. Your partner might not want to reveal their deepest darkest secrets right away or at all. However, if they hide things like where they went, who they’re talking to, or important life events, it’s not normal. 

7. They Demand Access to Your Personal Information

This is abusive behavior even though it doesn’t seem like it. Your partner and you should have mutual trust in each other. Insecurities happen in a relationship and with people. It’s natural. However, how the insecurities are handled matters. Your partner should never demand access to your social media, phone calls, texts, or any private information. 

8. They Keep Your Relationship a Secret

It’s natural to keep a relationship private at first. They may not want to introduce you right away in the early stages. However, there comes a point when your existence should be acknowledged. If they act single on social media or never let you meet anyone important in their life, it’s a major red flag. They might not be as serious about you, hiding another relationship, or don’t see a long-term commitment. 

9. They Never Apologize 

Everyone makes mistakes at some point. If your partner can’t admit fault for their actions or take accountability, you can’t progress and have healthy discussions. Partners have to be willing to apologize and compromise. When they make a mistake, a proper apology is needed. Apologies that state “I’m sorry you feel I hurt you or offended you” isn’t sincere. 

10. They’re Emotionally Unavailable 

Emotionally unavailability is a huge red flag you may not have noticed. They may have conditions on when you can see them (usually when it’s convenient for them) or put very little effort into the relationship. They may not want to talk about feelings, tell you they want a “for fun” relationship or tell you they aren’t ready for a relationship. They won’t change, move on to someone who’s available. 

Final Thoughts 

Red flags are very easy to miss while in a new relationship. We tend to think the best of people and look at their potential and not who they are. The red flags that pop up throughout the relationship usually are what end the relationship. When you pay attention to them at the beginning of a relationship, you can potentially save yourself a world of heartache and trouble as time moves on.