10 Questions To Ask Yourself if You Want to Self-Diagnose Relationship Addiction

By  //  January 25, 2024

Millions of people in America are currently living with addiction according to recent reports. When most people think of addiction, their minds immediately turn to drugs and alcohol.

Of course, addiction comes in many forms. Though people often fail to realize it, relationship addiction is actually a common problem. It affects up to 10 percent of Americans by some estimates though the actual numbers could be much higher. 

Self-Diagnosing Relationship Addiction

Relationship addiction is loosely defined as a condition in which a person is overly dependent on love and the feelings associated with new relationships. Like other types of dependence, it can be unhealthy and destructive. It’s possible to break the cycle of relationship addiction, though. Those who are living with it can turn to mental health php treatment to help them develop and maintain healthy, positive relationships. If you think you may be suffering from relationship addiction, ask yourself the following 10 questions to self-diagnose the condition. 

1) Am I Isolating Myself Because of a Relationship?

Romantic involvements are meant to be supplements to other types of relationships. They fill empty spaces in our lives and fulfill our need for a certain type of love. They shouldn’t replace relationships with friends and family members. If you’re isolating yourself from friends and relatives because of a romantic relationship and you can’t seem to break the habit, that’s an unhealthy situation. 

2) Do We Constantly Break up and Make up?

Do you and your romantic partner continuously fight and break up only to make up later on? If so, that could be a sign that you’re addicted to the relationship. Arguing on occasion is normal. Being in a constant cycle of breaking up and getting back together isn’t healthy. 

3) Do I Quickly Get Bored with Relationships?

Do you seem to quickly fall in love only to grow bored with a relationship shortly thereafter? If that’s the case, relationship addiction may be the culprit. You may be dependent on the excitement and romance that comes with new love interests. Therapists sometimes suggest sex addiction treatment to address compulsive patterns and rebuild a more secure sense of connection. With the right support, you can learn to create relationships based on trust, respect, and emotional stability.

4) Am I Constantly Looking for New Relationships?

Constantly looking for new romantic partners or fantasizing about meeting new love interests could also indicate that you’re addicted to the excitement of new relationships. That could interfere with your ability to maintain relationships. It’ll also detract from the satisfaction and benefits you could gain from a long-term relationship. 

5) Do I Have Trouble Maintaining Long-Term Relationships?

Maybe you struggle to maintain long-term relationships but you haven’t quite figured out why. Relationship addiction could be to blame. Being unable to maintain long-term relationships may be a sign that you’re subconsciously getting bored with relationships and on a constant search for new love.

6) Do I Obsess Over Relationships?

Obsessing over a relationship or romantic partner can also be a warning sign of relationship addiction. Does the relationship or your romantic partner consume all your thoughts? Are those thoughts interfering with work or other relationships? Perhaps you’re constantly stalking your partner online or thinking of ways to keep that partner’s interest and affection. 

7) Do I Habitually Enter Into Unhealthy Relationships?

Another point to consider is whether the relationships you’re entering into are healthy. Do they cause undue stress or anxiety? Do you find that your relationships trigger bouts of depression? Do you allow yourself to be in abusive situations just for the sake of being in a relationship? Those issues can all be warning signs of relationship addiction. 

8) Do I Define Myself Based on My Relationships?

Ask yourself if you let being in a relationship define who you are. You’re more than your romantic affiliations. You’re an individual with countless traits, talents, and strengths to offer the world. If you define yourself solely based on whether you’re in a relationship, you’re selling yourself short. 

9) Do I Change Myself to Accommodate My Partners?

Changing yourself to accommodate different romantic partners is a sign that you have an unhealthy relationship addiction as well. Compromising on where to go for dinner, which movie to see, or where to go on vacation is normal. It’s all part of being in a relationship. Compromising on your core beliefs, what you stand for, and what makes you happy is another matter entirely, and it’s not a positive move.  

10) Are My Relationships Detracting From Who I Really Am?

Finally, ask yourself if your relationships are detracting from who you really are. In a relationship, partners should be able to play off of each other’s strengths. They should also back each other’s weaknesses and help build them up. If your partner is detracting from who you are rather than reinforcing it, you’re in an unhealthy situation. Remaining in that situation could be an indication that you’re addicted to the relationship. 

Overcoming Relationship Addiction

Keep in mind that these are very general questions. Relationship addiction takes on many forms, all of which can have detrimental effects on your life. If you’ve answered yes to some of these questions, consider digging deeper and consulting with a counselor to help break the cycle and allow yourself to build healthy, happy, meaningful relationships.